Cannabis is often viewed through extremes — either as a harmful substance or as a miracle cure. In a thoughtful and deeply personal conversation, educator and coach Ryan Sprague shares a more nuanced perspective: cannabis is neither inherently good nor bad, but a powerful tool that reflects the intention behind its use. Through his own journey with anxiety, loss, and personal transformation, he explores how people can shift from unconscious dependency toward a conscious, respectful relationship with the plant.
A Teenager Searching for Relief
Ryan’s relationship with cannabis began during adolescence, at a time when he was struggling with anxiety and feeling disconnected from himself. After receiving medical diagnoses and prescriptions that left him feeling numb rather than healed, he turned to cannabis for the first time. Instead of simply masking symptoms, the experience helped him feel more present and aware — as though he could observe his thoughts rather than be overwhelmed by them.
This early insight shaped his curiosity about the mind and led him to study psychology. Yet like many young people discovering a tool that brings relief, he gradually began using cannabis more frequently, believing that more consumption meant more healing. Over time, the plant shifted from being a guide toward self-awareness to becoming a nightly habit that dulled deeper emotional challenges.
The Difference Between Medicine and Dependency
One of Ryan’s central messages is that dependency often arises not from the substance itself but from the relationship a person builds with it. He describes a phase in his life where cannabis helped him avoid discomfort instead of confronting it. Even though he considered himself a mindful user — consuming organic, homegrown cannabis and limiting use to evenings — he eventually realized that he was numbing unresolved emotions.
This realization came during a period of personal awakening, when he chose to take a three-month break after years of consistent use. The first weeks felt difficult, reinforcing his belief that cannabis was the problem. But as time passed, he recognized that the deeper issue was not the plant but his own patterns — avoidance, unprocessed trauma, and a lack of intentionality.
Breaking dependency, in his view, requires radical honesty. Instead of blaming the substance, he began asking what emotional needs he was trying to escape.
Loss, Grief, and the Spiritual Side of Cannabis
A profound turning point in Ryan’s journey came during his father’s illness. After being diagnosed with terminal cancer, his father reluctantly agreed to explore cannabis-based support. Through this experience, Ryan witnessed a different dimension of the plant — one that extended beyond symptom relief.
He describes moments where cannabis seemed to open emotional and spiritual space, allowing his father to approach mortality with acceptance and peace. Conversations became deeper, and unresolved relationships found closure. For Ryan, this period transformed his understanding of cannabis from a coping mechanism into a tool for presence, connection, and compassion.
This experience also shifted his life direction. Rather than focusing solely on cultivation or industry work, he felt called to help others understand the deeper potential of conscious plant use.
Conscious Use as a Practice
After his break from cannabis, Ryan began experimenting with intentional consumption. Instead of using it daily, he created structured rituals around weekend sessions, setting clear intentions before engaging with the plant. These experiences became less about escaping stress and more about self-reflection — journaling, meditation, and emotional processing.
He noticed that when used consciously, cannabis amplified awareness rather than dulling it. Difficult emotions surfaced more clearly, giving him an opportunity to address patterns he had previously avoided. This approach transformed the plant into a mirror, reflecting both his strengths and the areas that required growth.
He emphasizes that conscious use is not about rigid rules but about listening to internal signals. Some people may choose to abstain entirely, while others may find balance through intentional rituals. The key lies in awareness rather than automatic consumption.
Seeing Cannabis as a Teacher
Throughout the conversation, Ryan describes cannabis as having a playful, almost archetypal energy — one that encourages curiosity, laughter, and perspective. Instead of pushing users into deep transcendence, he believes cannabis helps integrate spiritual insight into everyday life. It allows individuals to remain grounded in the present while exploring new ways of seeing themselves and the world.
This perspective challenges the cultural narrative that cannabis is either purely recreational or purely medicinal. For Ryan, it exists somewhere in between — a bridge that can reveal inner truth when approached with respect.
Moving Beyond Stigma and Extremes
Another important theme is the need to move beyond polarized thinking. Ryan acknowledges that cannabis can be harmful when used unconsciously, especially for individuals seeking escape from unresolved trauma. At the same time, he believes that dismissing the plant entirely overlooks its potential as a tool for growth.
He encourages people to examine their motivations honestly. Are they using cannabis to feel more alive and connected, or to avoid discomfort? The answer often determines whether the relationship becomes supportive or dependent.
A Journey of Self-Responsibility
Ultimately, Ryan’s story is less about cannabis itself and more about personal accountability. Healing, he explains, does not come from any external substance alone. It emerges from the willingness to explore one’s inner world, to face uncomfortable truths, and to cultivate intention in daily life.
His journey from anxious teenager to conscious educator reflects a broader lesson: tools like cannabis can illuminate the path, but the responsibility for transformation always rests with the individual. By shifting from unconscious habit to intentional practice, he discovered a new way of relating not only to the plant but to himself.
In the end, breaking dependency is not about rejection — it is about reclaiming choice. Through awareness, patience, and honest reflection, the relationship with cannabis can evolve from a crutch into a conscious partnership that supports growth, healing, and deeper connection.
Based on the Ayahuasca Podcast episode “Breaking dependency and conscious use of Cannabis” with Sam Believ and Ryan Sprague.
Sam Believ is the founder and CEO of LaWayra Ayahuasca Retreat, the best-rated Ayahuasca retreat in South America, with over 520 five-star Google reviews and an overall rating of 5 stars. After his life was transformed by Ayahuasca, he dedicated himself to spreading awareness about this ancestral medicine to help address the mental health crisis. Sam is committed to making Ayahuasca retreats affordable, accessible, and authentic, with a focus on care, integration, and the involvement of indigenous shamans. He is also the host of the Ayahuasca Podcast.